Keep the Spark Alive
Do you sometimes look over at your partner (you know, the one
who’s snoring over the remote control) and think “what
ever happened to the spark we had between us?”
Typically, in the early years of a relationship, you can’t
get enough of each other, you tell each other everything, you’re
excited to see the other person and you take every opportunity
to show them. This is how long-lasting love relationships begin
and grow strong.
Over time, this bond takes on less “urgency”. We
focus more of our attention on the responsibilities and challenges
that come with commitment, work, family and finances, less on
our relationship. But the positive, rejuvenating effects of keeping
a strong love-bond alive are worth the extra time we have to make
to reignite that old sense of excitement.
Revive Your Emotional Bond
One of the most critical aspects of the development of a love-bond
and therefore, in reigniting it, is the sharing of feelings. Sharing
a true emotional connection with your partner enhances your personal
confidence and your ability to work through disagreements or minor
upsets.
The emotional bond takes a hit when partners become too busy
to talk on a frequent basis or when they begin to close up due
to fatigue, broken trust or built up resentments. Whatever the
reason, if you think your emotional bond needs some work, here
are some ideas:
1. Express your feelings with honesty and vulnerability. Being
vulnerable signals to the other person that you trust them and
gives them the freedom to be vulnerable with you.
“That news article made me feel upset. I hate that there’s
so much violence in the world. How did you feel about it?”
2. Reminisce. Pull out the old photographs and talk about your
favourite memories. This will remind both of you of your best
days together and revive the bond between you.
Date Again
Go out together for a special evening (or afternoon!) and be sure
to do something you’ll both enjoy. It doesn’t have
to be as formal as going out to dinner… though that’s
always a great date. You could take a walk in the park, go for
a drive, ice-skating in the city-centre, anything that gives you
time to talk, hold hands and spend an hour or two alone in the
world.
If you’re the nostalgic type, look up the first restaurant
you ever went to together and revisit your first date. If it’s
gone, try whatever’s sprung up in its place. Just being
back where it all began will bring on that first flush of excitement.
All Work and No Play?
Our hectic, stressful lives leave little room for the pleasures
of play. We come to think of this elemental human need as something
only children get to indulge in… or parents of young children.
Even if your children are grown, you and your partner can make
play a part of your relationship again just by remembering that
you don’t have to be serious all the time. Couples who play,
tease, tickle and laugh together are enjoying one of the most
elemental forms of play.
Get a Little Closer
Warm, loving physical contact is good for the soul. Sit together
on the couch, rub your partner’s shoulders while they do
the dishes, touch their arm when you pass them in the hall, stop
and enjoy a good hug. Physical contact feels nice and it adds
to your overall sense of trust, love and acceptance of each other.
Hang Up Your Hang ups
Think of something you’ve always been a little shy of, but
wanted to try. It could be anything… karaoke, belly dancing,
taking an acting class. Remind yourself that life is for living
and that you’ve got the power to be whoever you want to
be. Confidence is not only attractive, it’s liberating.
You’ll find that hanging up those old hang ups and venturing
into new territory will revive your personal spark and help you
see everything with a new eye.
Developing personal interests can be just as good for your relationship
as sharing interests.What you’ll find is that keeping romance
alive is not all roses and love notes (though they never hurt)!
It’s really about reviving the fun you used to have together
and remembering to appreciate what you’ve found in each
other.
Do you have a tip for reigniting the passion? Share it with us
at editor@beingbeautiful.ca
|